What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A sunken chest with no booty!

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

Why is pirating addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!